Phit-N-Phat...Making Fitness and Weightloss a Lifestyle

Mental Weightloss Training

"Sometimes the loudest noise is the chatter of thoughts inside our heads."

So what is Mental Weightloss Training? It's the work you must do between your ears to see the results of longterm weightloss and maintenance.

We all know around PNP about Fat Girl Thinking (FGT). It's the little chic in our brains that tells us all the negative things about us. She wants us to eat through stress, finds our flaws before our beauty, and repeats all the time that we can't and don't deserve to put our health before kids, husbands, jobs, and friends.

Mental Weightloss Training (MWT) is something everyone needs from the start of the journey and well into the maintenance phase. I've watched myself struggle over the years to shut the old voices up in my head. At times I think I have two or three FGT chics having a party up in my head. I can tell you that only a small few of you will be able to lose your weight WITHOUT changing how you feel about you. And those that can do it will struggle with keeping it off if you aren't figuring out how to change the internal messaging going on in your head.

How do you do that? I would start with finding out where are you most in need of repair.

Do you live by the scale validation? If so, quit weighing and just do your plan. Remove the one thing that gives you elation one day and crushing blows the next EVEN when you stay on plan. 

When you look in the mirror are you disgusted? Limit how often you can look. Get used to not looking at yourself unless you walk in the mirror and give yourself a compliment then turn around and walk away. I've draped sheets over mirrors before to keep myself from picking me apart. I had to get used to not doing it before I could change the verbiage!

What's your most important MWT?

I can promise you that the messages you send yourself on the inside you WILL follow through with on the outside. It won't stop overnight. It takes practice to quiet the noise in your head and allow the positive to come through but you STAND NO CHANCE of changing the message until you do something different.

 

Related Articles...

Enjoying the Weightloss Process

Don't Be Ashamed of Being Healthy

Do Things Because You Want To

Food That Has Power Over You

We often think of food as the enemy. When I say food has power over you...what pops in your head? Be honest!

- Do you think about wild needs for chocolate at night?

- Does a bag of chips on the counter render you munching your way through cooking dinner?

- When you go out to Mexican the chips in the basket just can't be turned down?

Food DOES have incredible power over us. If we aren't planning and prepping for our week it can have the wrong kind of power.

But I want to talk about the positive power food has. I am working with a group training for the Country Music Half Marathon. This message inspired this post.

Corinne, I wanted to give you a special thanks for all the training tips and the tips for eating prior to and after walking/running. I feel so much better than I did the last time I trained and I know it is because of the things you have shared with us. Recovery is much easier and I don't feel like I need to go to bed when I am finished!!

We too often sit around thinking about all the negatives with living the lifestyle and fueling our bodies that we forget just how great good food can make us feel. I know that the day you stop seeing food as your enemy and embrace it as part of what your body needs, YOU DO BETTER!

So many of us grow up in the mentality that more is not better with food so we should starve to lose weight. Less must mean I'll lose. Most of the time it means you starve a few days, overeat the others, and either gain weight or stall all while busting your ass and feeling like shit. We don't know how to figure calories so we go with what we know: starve and then let food have POWER over us.

I believe the best thing for your body is easy; listen to it and give it enough food to do it's job. If the job right now is to workout and lose weight, then you gotta give it enough FOOD to do that and it's more than a lot of you think on a DAY to DAY basis. 

Notice I didn't mention you can't eat carbs, you should avoid fat, never do this or that. If you want to have loads of food rules go ahead but I can tell you to lose weight there aren't that many. The body wants healthy food and it rewards you when you eat a lot of it. Things like...

• regular poops (you can set a freaking watch to mine)
• increased energy
• prettier skin
• better workouts
• a happy mom and wife
• a worker who can THINK

and lots of other things.

I could get into a lot of detail on how to eat healthy but this blog is about embracing good, natural foods to feel the positive power food has over you. If you are tired of feeling like crap then quit eating it. 

And, feel free to ask questions in the comments of the blog. I'm happy to tell you my "food rules" for your situation. :)

Related Articles...

Wasted Calories

Journal Review: Body Minder

 

Happily Maintaining...

Talking with Chris this weekend I've decided to blog a little more on my daily life. My blog has always been a source of working out what goes on in my head WHILE helping other people see what it feels like to be a girl who had to lose 100+ pounds and keep it off.

After six years, maintenance is still so hard for me. My life is spent reading through weightloss journals, diets, workouts, etc., to help my clients lose weight. I also use my own life experience to help them so it's easy to get caught up in feeling like MY LIFE must be one giant diet. It never really occurred to me the influence my job has until the last few months.

Another tough aspect is a tangled body image for myself. I've privately on PNP struggled with what do I want to look like. The short of it is I have admired figure competitors and competed for four years now that I couldn't let go of a look I'm just not willing to maintain these days.

It's not that I am ready to gain a bunch of weight. Not at all. I just train and eat different now. My life is filled (happily) with half-marathons, Tough Mudders, and eating to compete rather than dieting for a specific look for a show. I can still look great but I'm just not going to have the specific look I admire.

Truth be told I miss the shows...I miss working hard for the stage because I enjoy that sport, but I don't miss dieting and sacrificing Vegas trips, date nights, Subway, and pancakes with my son just because we feel like it that night. 

On our date night this week, Chris and I talked about all of this. The last few weekends I have not tracked my food and just ate more intune with my brain. I also ate things I don't eat Monday through Friday and had wine with my man. In my BRAIN I know it's fine. It's my emotional side that feels guilty or like if my girls see me enjoying my weekends then the whole site is going to be in a downward spiral. 

I know from losing my weight that it takes TIGHT weekends to get the weight off. But I also know I did my time already and I deserve to enjoy myself on the weekends. Often, though, the girls do as they see without remembering they haven't earned their golden ticket just yet. I know I cannot keep living my life as a diet "model" but just coach them on how they should eat now and SHOW them how it works in life when you are done.

My Weekend...

On Friday, I took a day off from exercise because I had a huge active week and another 8 mile run Saturday morning (already did a 10-miler two days prior). The family stayed in and we ate our normal healthy stuff.

Saturday I fueled up for my 8 miles and was STARVING all day. I ATE on cue and kept it healthy. Knowing we were going out for a date night I didn't want to bust in like Kool-Aid Man to the restaurant and eat whatever was in front of me.

Before we went out at 7:00 pm I had some brussel sprouts and pork from my weekly meal plan. Well, I was full so we decided to go to our local bar and hang out. At 11:00 pm I had drank a good bit of wine, danced with my man, snapped our usual silly pictures for Facebook, and we were starved. We decided on Ruby Tuesday to-go since we had to beat the babysitter.

I ordered a Turkey Burger on dry whole wheat toast, a dry baked potato, and was going to have a salad. When we got there the salad bar had all of Logan's favorites and not many of my own so I decided I really would rather split a dessert than choke down salad at midnight. I made Logan a salad for lunch on Sunday and we got the Blondie! I'm just saying it is my all time favorite dessert in the world and when the Queen has dessert this is what she gets!

I ate every bit of my dinner and a few nibbles of fries off Chris' plate. Yep, I BLT, too! But, I gave Chris the ice cream from our dessert since it's not my favorite and I ate only 1/2 of the blondie. Let me say, that's a big win in my book. I am a clean plate club member and I can put down VOLUMES of food, y'all. I did eat past full but I can eat until miserable and I didn't. Baby, stinking-steps. 

Sunday rolled in and I was TIRED (hungover). I made myself workout but just a lighter workout of some sculpting and 25 minute HIIT from Turbo Fire. I ate healthy but at lunch I really wanted the leftover blondie so I had it. Now, the win here is that normally I gulp food in front of the computer. I made myself sit at the table and ENJOY the dessert. If I'm going to eat 400 calories in dessert then I better ENJOY IT!

Later that day I did a great food prep (starting at 3:30 pm) that was wicked fast and then the boys wanted Ruby Tuesday. Honestly, we love going as a family once a week for family night and it almost always happens on Sunday. After cooking all day to post on Facebook, Logan playing, and Chris and I doing laundry we just want to relax at our favorite spot. We went and I had a big salad and pasta with marinara and chicken/shrimp mix. I also had a couple of Skinny Mojitos since Chris was driving. 

We came home, messed around the house, put Logan in bed and watched Ice and Cocoa. It was fun and Chris has been teasing me all weekend because he thinks I'm his Cocoa. LOL. Can you tell which couple is which?

I guess I'm redefining the way I see Corinne. My desire to just be really lean and hard is waning a lot. My mind for months now has been focused on being sporty, having fun, and healthy. Sure I keep an eye on the scale and such, but I'm also starting to see that body image perfectionism does nothing but make me crazy.

I could never obtain the goals that my head has for me. It doesn't mean throw in the towel; just means my goals are WRONG. I'd love big, firm, muscular legs but my skin can't do that. I also love Tough Mudders and that DESPITE my skin on my legs, ARE strong and conditioned enough to leap and climb. That's a goal worth smiling about it and working hard for.

So, that's my weekend. Today I'm sure the scale is up a bit but I didn't weigh. It's not a reflection of my week. It will be back down by Wed or Thur when I do weigh. I'm back to my good foods, regular programming, and such. Every day can't be a weekend and to have a little more there I gotta have a little less now.

I'm honest in the fact that if I was to lose a few pounds I would smile but it's just got to be a byproduct of a good life. My goal is maintaining, having fun, being athletic, and happy accidents on the scale are always welcomed. 

And, if my husband's words aren't enough, I saw this post from Scott Abel today. Timely and true.

Sad to think a 'perfect or ideal' body or its pursuit makes you “happy” - it doesn’t. It only makes you tired and exhausted from the pursuit, which makes you more unhappy and unsatisfied with yourself. No diet in the world or the results from it, will leave you feeling "good about yourself" if your default position in life is that you feel you are never good enough - no diet will deliver that kind of salvation to you - stop being in a place where you are only comfortable with life, by feeling bad about yourself within your living of it!

 

Your Weightloss Circle of Influence

I've been getting signs from the world it's time for me to give this talk about enabling.

Most of us are trying to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle. We have PNP and other online support groups that I am a major part of and we share and learn from each other how to have a better, fitter, and healhier life. I think most of us got to this point of finding a new lifestyle because we don't eat right and/or move enough from day-to-day. What do I mean?

1. We don't prepare ahead of time so we grab junk food.

2. We have a bad day and decide a burger and shake will make us feel better.

3. After battling all day with our jobs, kids, and life we sit in the quiet of our home eating ice cream and cookies to relax.

4. Our day was long so we skip workouts and then sleep in never feeling like we get enough rest.

These are not "treats". These are faux fixes to problems we don't want to face. We don't want to prepare for life; we let it happen to us. We don't want to tell someone they stomped on our feelings; we smile and keep taking it. We don't find ways to cope through the day; we await a few moments of peace and avoid what's coming AGAIN tomorrow.

Then we turn to our circle of influence. These are the people in your life that help you be a better person. I know most of us have good people around us. Some of you have a few, ummm, weeds that need to be pulled, but for the most part we all have friends and family who are helping us be a better person.

This the part I need EVERYONE to pay attention to: quit enabling your pals and you quit allowing it.

I can't tell you how many times I read in all my challenges, groups, and boards where someone falls off the wagon and 1,000 people come flying in to tell them it's OK. Damn it! It's not OK!!!! 

If you had a drinking problem and decided after a tough day you were going to just do a couple of shots on the way home, I doubt Susie would be there saying, "go ahead...you can get back to sobriety tomorrow."

When someone has a TREAT, I absolutely know they deserve to have it. I'm not advocating deprivation to lose weight. But a treat isn't at a Burger King, standing in your pantry, in a gas station, or by yourself hoping no one sees you. 

A treat is enjoyed, savoured, VAULUED, and should leave you feeling satisfied. If you show up and blow up in the forums with those feelings then I am the first one to say GOOD FOR YOU GIRL! 

When a friend comes in and posts and it reads sadness, guilt, what was I thinking, etc., then don't tell them it's OK. You know what? That's insulting because you aren't really LISTENING to what your friend NEEDS to hear. Don't give them pity. Give them help, a plan, ask them what was really bothering them, and come up with some real support on how to make the next time better. 

I am so proud to say I have a dear friend who recently broke an eight month binge-free record. Now, she feels like shit, but her words and story always helps so many. As she journaled on PNP what happened, she worked through the WHY, what cues did she miss, what could she do different next time, how she can pray on it, and then faced the music of how she WILL FEEL for days to come.

You know what? She's done that with each binge over the last few years and what was once a monthly thing now is once every eight months. God be with her the next two weeks as she processes the junk out of her body and mind, but also I pray we all learn from her strength that she refuses to just say, "tomorrow is a new day." She says, "tomorrow is a new day AND HERE'S HOW I AM DOING IT DIFFERENT."

Always remember, it's easy to move on; it's a dedicated person who REFLECTS and moves on to a better a plan.

Will Weightloss Make Me Happy?

In our PNP Beachbody February Team Forum we had someone talk about how the TLC show "The 600lb Woman" really got to her. Even though she doesn't that much weight to lose, she felt her pain when she went from 600 to 157lbs but still faced the same mental issues. She still wasn't happy.

I think all of us go through the process of "when I reach X weight THEN I will be happy." Doesn't it just seem like if were thin life would be easy. I know from experience that the what the scale says and what size you wear really doesn't make you happy. Sure, it's nice to not have your weight be up but trust me, if you don't love your life that number isn't going to make the shit around you smell better.

Below is what I responded to my girls talking about this. Hope it makes some sense and I hope you all in our team support group will keep chatting about this. It's key to future success...and happiness.

 

It is true that reaching a certain weight or size isn't what brings you happiness. I don't know the answer, but my thoughts are when you look at your life and WHY you are unhappy, the weight is typically a symptom of the bigger issue.

You might be unhappy because you don't face problems (you stuff them down and cope with food leading to those extra pounds), you allow people to run over you (allowing YOU to run over YOU in the process), etc. 

I mean most of us gained weight because there were things and situations in life that forced us into behaviors of unhealth. When those things are fixed usually our focus on our health can be, too.

...But I Do It Anyway

One of my brilliant girls on PNP posted this in our forums today and I HAD TO SHARE!

I had a good chuckle with a co-worker of mine that I've known for years, and we've done Weight Watchers on and off together, walked at lunch together, etc.

She is engaged to a personal trainer and is currently trying to lose some weight before her wedding at the end of the year. Anyhow, we always get together to talk about our fitness and diets and she knew I was starting the Beachbody Home Body Pump program. Anyhow, I told her yesterday that I stepped on the scale and nothing had changed, and I was like "what the heck?"

Then I laughed because, you know, I only started the program THIS WEEK!  We both laughed because, like me, she lacks patience when it comes to seeing progress when we start something and we both know how ridiculous it is to look for results just a few days after STARTING a program!  I told her that I KNOW BETTER than to step on the scale just a few days after starting but I do it anyway.

That got me thinking about all the things that I "know better than" to do, but I do them anyway.  So I thought I'd write them out here.  Maybe I should work on stopping these behaviors, since they do NOTHING to help me!

I know better than to...

• step on the scale after just a few days of starting a program and expect to see results, but I do it anyway.
• step on the scale after a bad food day/weekend, but I do it anyway
• do a workout when my body is screaming that it needs to rest, but I do it anyway
• go on a binge after making one bad food choice, thinking that I just screwed up my plan so I'll just give in and start over tomorrow allowing myself to eat junk the rest of the night, but I do it anyway
• push myself to continue doing something that doesn't allow an injury to heal or makes it worse, but I do it anyway
• look at myself naked and only focus on the flaws, and bad talk myself, but I do it anyway
• go swimsuit or jeans shopping and think that I will end up in as good of a mood as I left in, but I do it anyway
• to look for easy ways to lose weight, but I do it anyway
• think that I can eat foods I don't really like and make it a "lifestyle", but I do it anyway
• do a half-as*ed workout when I know I should be giving it everything I've got, but I do it anyway

I gotta wonder why I continue to do these things, when I KNOW BETTER.  Is it sabotaging myself?  Is it to purposefully make myself feel bad so that I have an excuse to continue bad behaviors or choices?  I'm not really sure.  But, I think I'm going to make a more conscious effort to stop doing these things that I know better than to do.

 

I just thought this was like all of us. Who hasn't done all or most of these things? I still do them!

If you ask me we get into the habit of these behaviors and we do them anyway because we don't do the opposite...EVEN WHEN WE DON'T WANT TO. Many times we have to do the opposite and remind ourselves why we are allowing ourselves some love. At first it sounds "stupid" and then eventually it becomes easier, life is easier, and we wonder why we didn't act like this the whole time.

Re-defining the Perfect Body

My private PNP members are lucky enough to follow my private journal where I get deep into my personal journey through weight loss and maintenance. Currently, I'm in therapy to learn more about myself and resolve some stinking-thinking that I have found most women have and don't talk ENOUGH about. In my journal, people thank me for telling my story because it sounds just like them!

This week I discussed how I am redefining two areas of my life: the love of racing and sports and the fear of eating and living outside a "diet" life. 

I have such a high  unrealistic body image standard for myself even though I know my body is just not made that way. My remaining loose skin and shorter legs are not going to change.

And, before someone jumps in here telling me to give my legs a chance you need to go BACK and read my whole blog! I have been maintaining and building muscle for SIX YEARS, had a lower body lift two years ago, and worked harder since to change it. 

I can CONFIDENTLY say it's time to deal with things with a new perspective! Besides, regardless if I'm not looking like my perfect image, I want more out of life than to keep "dieting" and start "fueling" to be the sports enthusiast I am. I want to eat my food because it's good for me and not expect it to change how I look. If it changes me, let it make me faster and do a pull-up!

With that said, a wonderful member of my team posted some words in my journal. I thought we could all benefit from Emily Y's wisdom. She "rambled" the following as a re-defining of the perfect body...

The perfect body...can pull itself up a cliff if it falls while out hiking.

The perfect body...can grab her child and run (easily) if someone is chasing them.

The perfect body...feeds the mind by reading and educating herself.

The perfect body...gets out of bed and doesn't feel stiff and in pain because the perfect body is flexible and taken care of.

The perfect body...functions well because it is fed well.

I AM all of these things. I am also...

Loved by the man of my dreams.

Surrounded by women of faith and strength with the same healthy attitude toward life.

Starting to see the perfect body is more a feeling than a reflection. When you value the right things with your body...what it can do...a lot of things fall into place.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve how you look. There's nothing wrong for me to want to look better, make improvements, and such. It's just that until I'm happy now I won't be happy any different. I've been thinner and bigger and the weight never changed my feelings.

When I did things that made me happy, read books about being better, and focused on surrounding myself with positivity I was excited with life and saw myself beautiful. Guess what? I'm on the path to doing those things again and it's working. And once I'm happy I'm sure my body will look and feel just fine.

 

Making Mistakes Helps You Lose Weight

“You have to make mistakes to find out who you aren't. You take the action, and the insight follows: You don't think your way into becoming yourself.” --- Anne Lamott

It's the first week of our January challenge. Guess what? Most of you are GUNG-HO right now. Warning to you: there is a mistake in your near future.

• A kid will get sick.
• A friend will break-up with her boyfriend and require you to drink with her.
• Your football team is playing.
• A husband will want pizza and not grilled chicken Friday night.
• By next week the work gang is off their "diet" and going out to the local Mexican restaurant.
• You'll need to go to the gym and the boss will make you work late.
• The alarm will go off at 5am but the baby was up all night and you will lay there.

Sad to say, but most of you will have at LEAST one of these things happen, beat yourself up for life happening and wait until the next challenge to get started AGAIN. Until that time you will just spin your wheels with your old habits that make you want to lose weight in the first place.

I'm telling you now that all of these things are going to happen for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. These are not the universe trying "F" with your head. It's called a part of life. 

Do you think when I lost over 100lbs it was roses? No way! I had death, birthdays, a child diagnosed with autism, sickness, we sold and moved a house at Christmas, I travelled a lot, etc. 

The difference is that I finally realized my life wasn't going to snap into a perfect zone so I needed to learn how to make my life fit into the circumstances. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of me.

To this day, in maintenance, the same things happen. I constantly don't get my way with how I want the days and weeks to play out. I make mistakes. I eat crazy on vacation, I skip workouts when I just can't get it done, etc. The difference is that I don't let what happens in life change my LIFESTYLE. 

When I need to miss a workout, it's OK. I just know that day I need to re-tool my week. I might not even get every workout in but I'm still going to be healthy and exericse. Unless you are training for a huge race...what does a missed workout or two mean over the course of the next 30 years? Nothing. 

On vacation I eat. On date night I have my wine (and plenty of it). I enjoy these times because after six years of doing it I'm maintaining my weightloss. It's not vacation and date night killing you; it's vending machines, lunches with the gang, and then just nibbling your way through cookies, cakes, crackers, chips and leftovers from the kids' plate that's stopping you.

So, as we proceed through week one of our PNP January Challenges - no perfectionism. When you have life happen I don't want bitching in the threads that your life is so unfair. I want you discussing what happened and feel free to be frustrated. Just don't let it stop there.

I'm looking for women who will show up in the thread, honestly saying why they had to miss workouts or didn't eat on plan BUT HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE (like we talked yesterday) about where they go from here.

Learn from your mistakes. They are there to teach; not punish.

Again, smile more, hug more, and plan the life you want to live.

 

Get Positive to Lose Weight

Our January Challenges are in full swing at PNP and this is my message to all TEAMS for Monday!

 

This is week one and I see most of you have made your action plan. An action plan is where you have your GOAL clearly defined so that when you are faced with temptation it just overrides what is put in front of you. 

Most people spend WAY too much time thinking about the past and focusing on what went wrong. In this month our major "thinking" goal is to focus on being positive. Positive people tend to be achievers. They don't waste energy on the negatives. How do you do that?

- When something bad happens the first thing you do is stop with the "why me" and go immediately into "what can I LEARN from this" mode. Is that natural? Not for most of us but it never will be natural until you get off the whine wagon! Whichever thinking process you practice is the one you will naturally go to.

 

- You plan your life for what's important. If you truly want to lose weight and be healthier you plan your life that way. Sure friends and kids are important, but whatever you truly want in life you will make happen. If your Scentsy Parties make you feel good looking in the mirror, then skip workouts and go to those.

I don't have a single client that can tell me they can't find 30 min. a day to do something 5x's a week. If they show that to me they also show me 20-100lbs to lose. I've had one client work late, go to the bathroom, and do a round of jumping jacks, burpees, and squats for 30 min. once because she was not going to have another second in her day but hated missing a workout. If she can do that - NO EXCUSES!

 

- Obstacles should be viewed as a challenge to get creative. We often look at problems and give up or get mad. Don't! Life is always going to have them. You thin friends don't have less challenges than you. They learned how to work around things and say no when they want to say yes. Don't tell me you "never" get to have the stuff you like when you have weight to lose. You had too much and now it's time to cut back and try taking care of yourself. 

 

All of you are strong. Week one I want everyone focused on being positive and finding every avenue to be successful. Smile more, hug more, when someone asks how are you say GREAT, and if you get a compliment say thank you. Just doing that will help you change a lot of attitude that is critical to helping you lose the weight!

 

You Raise Me Up

This is week three of the PNP Holiday Hustle and the girls got a special assignment from me. I want to share with everyone because it is such a lesson in perservering and redefining your success. 

Do not watch this video until you are ready for a good cry!

 

Watching this video reminds me of my husband. He always "lifts me up" when I am down on myself. Watching the guy fall to the ground reminds me of the times I work so hard, deserve pride in my abilities and how hard I work, yet have a bad scale day or have a moment when the mirror shows me my old FGT (fat girl thinking) body. There are days my mind is my pulled hamstring. I've worked for years to lose the weight, maintain it, and yet fall down before the finish.

Chris is always there to keep me focused on the person I am...more than a weightloss success story. I am a mother, wife, business owner, and fitness enthusiast. 

What I love about this video is the guy had it in his mind what victory was going to be. He was on the Olympic stage and I am sure he played through his mind several times what it would feel like. In the video you can see not only the pain of the injury but the pain of what he thought was to be...was gone. 

You watch him go from mourning the loss of making is PR or winning and see him decide that finishing was worth it. It wasn't how he dreamed it would be but it would be the most he could make it.

And that sums it up for me and my weightloss. I have visions of how I want to look and what my weightloss should have been. I'm in that race and won't get to the finish until I start redefining what the success is. It has to be more than loose skin on my thighs or having a rock hard physique. It's my moment to change my definition of succcess because what I dreamed of is not meant for me. Doesn't mean that other dreams can't come true. 

Hope this makes sense and you think about where you are in YOUR journey. And, if you aren't lucky enough to have a Chris at home like I am, post here and I'll introduce you to a world of women at PNP who will lift you up. :)