Phit-N-Phat...Making Fitness and Weightloss a Lifestyle

Is This the LAST TIME I Will Have to Lose Weight?

At PNP we have some of the most interesting discussions and another one happened the other day in one of my clients journals. It was so good I asked her if I could post what we discussed. I hope you enjoy it and feel free to leave your own comments about the topic.

I have a question for you ladies who have lost the weight and kept it off. 

How do you know the last time you tried to lose the weight truly was the last time? Did you just finally "get it" one day?  Or was it more of a gradual awakening? 

I feel really good about how things are going right now, but I keep getting this nagging suspicion that this time will be like every other time I've tried to lose.  I guess it is Fat Girl Thinking (FGT).  I think journaling every day is helping.  But man, is FGT ever hard to ditch!

Corinne's Response:

I've blogged about this often but I still don't know if this is the LAST time. :) Does that help?

All I can tell you is that I just got better and better every day. I still try to get better and better every day. Guess that's why I like to call it a lifestyle because you really have to make one that leads you to being a healthy person - inside and out.

You also have to remember that when you have been overweight a long time those feelings and such just don't go away. Don't fight it. It's not that they win; they are just there. The more you learn to have a safe environment, find things you like doing and eating, the easier you find it is to SEE those thoughts before you act on them.

I don't know if that makes sense, but for me I feel like this lifestyle will "stick" because for the first time I didn't try to lose weight doing all the things I hated and give up the things I love. Along the way, I found new things to love and realized a lot of what got me fat in the first place just wasn't that important anymore.

 

Angela's Response:

For me it's about choices. Every day-all day-I make a choice that will impact my health, my weight and how I feel about myself. I have days where I love where I am and the lifestyle I'm living. Other days I would love to just say "screw it all" and eat cookies:)

I don't though. I work too hard for my moods or for a party or for what someone thinks make those decisions for me. It DOES get easier to make the positive choices-getting up for an early workout, packing your food, prepping your meals. Like all habits, they take time...and some nasty habits have a way of sliding back in. No one is looking for perfection-just do the best you can each day. Move on from a mistake and make the next choice the best you can!

 

In Summary...

Lifestyle means YOU finding what works for you and your own goals at this moment. Right now you might just need a couple of months of feeling forward progress. That's a good goal. When I started all of this I just wanted to quit being unhealthy and be able to get in the floor and play with my baby. Today my goals are wrapped up in sculpting muscle and walking half marathons with my Mommy.

As you go through weightloss you have to be willing to listen to yourself, accept your faults with love and be willing to push yourself when you know you are stronger than what you are doing.

Women are smart. We know when we do things our body is thankful for and when we do something our body doesn't like. Do more things to make yourself thankful every day and you will see more lifestyle changes come to you.

Mammy Is Almost There!

It's hard to believe in just three weeks Mammy will be walking her FIRST HALF MARATHON.

Many of you have been following her story and her journey. I've blogged about how simple we keep her training, meal planning, and menus. There is a program in the works dedicated to her success because I've learned a lot through her own journey.

It struck me watching her go through the same battle I did at how the little things are what matters.

Both of us started with walking. WALKING! Not a fabulous PNP training program, a personal trainer, a new set of videos, fancy gym classes, or some high priced dietician. One day we just started walking and we walked every day because it was something.

I started walking for 15 min. on the treadmill. It was all I could do at 250lbs. It was a big azzed challenge, I might add. I had to get over the looks, the fear of the "skinny girls" watching me, and the sheer difficulty of moving. My body was used to the couch and getting up just to fetch something.

Mammy got new knees after being on a walker and practically housebound. She could hardly go anywhere and had a handicapped sticker before she was 50 years young. Then she had DOUBLE knee replacements at 52 years young. She had to keep moving or the knees wouldn't last. She began walking daily.

The key is we both got active before we ever decided to change one thing going in our mouth. After just getting in those daily walks we felt better and made BETTER food choices.

Mind you, neither of us cut out anything we loved to eat. Somehow we allowed ourselves to just eat a little better and find some foods we like that were healthy. Who knew if you gave fruit a chance you might like it? I can with all sincerity say moving to Baked Lays was HUGE for me. One of my favorite weightloss meals around 200-215lbs was a Boca Burger with cheese, Baked Lays, and big bowl of watermelon. None measured. I ate until I felt good...good and full. But that meal was the replacement for the #2 at McDonald's: two cheeseburgers and a medium fry with a diet drink. Sometimes an ice cream cone or McFlurry (cough, cough).

Fast forward to today. You got me sitting pretty at 110lbs gone for good. The only weight I gain I CHOOSE to gain to work on my body. What a stinking concept that is for a girl like me.

AND, you have Mammy. She's in the middle of the journey but I have feeling it's not a "diet" anymore. She learned the lesson of a lifetime that I learned - to lose weight you don't have to hate your "diet" or your "exercise". If you do, you are doing it wrong.

You, me, Mammy, we all have to find the lifestyle that works for us. Trust me girls, there are a million ways to lose some fat. My personal belief is you will experience a better life when you mix what you love and what you need to be healthy. Maybe today you aren't ready for protein shakes, oatmeal, and broccoli. Neither was I at 250lbs. It was more like Dairy Queen, Cocoa Puffs, and fried okra.

What Mammy and I found, though, is that it takes making mistakes, doing what you can, and altering the little things to make progress. Through those little efforts you feel success. When you feel success you start to make more effort.

Who knows, one day you'll wake up and say just like so many before you, "I never had a light bulb moment. I just started doing some little things and it became habit."

I would love if some of you would post one little thing you can do this week to make some forward progress. Only comment what you know you can do; nothing you have to try super hard to do.

Update Straight from Mammy...

Well, I'm back down to the weight I was week before last. I lost the 4 pounds I was up last week from that long training walk. 

I did great this weekend resisting all the temptations while out of town. They had KFC Friday night and I had one piece of the grilled chicken and about two tablespoons of slaw. No potatoes or anything else. 

At the party, I had didn't have cake but a little bit of BBQ, no bun, some slaw and a little bit of potato salad. I like BBQ more than cake any day!

That night I ate a bowl of my Red Pepper soup I brought with three Wasa Crackers.  For dessert I ate an apple. I drank a ton of water while I was down there, too.

On Sunday I walked 2:30 hrs.  All I had to refuel was my Gatorade and I did OK. 

For breakfast I brought my Kahsi Waffles and SF syrup with a little PB.  I would have walked Saturday, but we had to leave her house at 8am so there was no time.  I was too tired after we got home plus the mosquitoes down there are like dragon flies.  Huge.  Anyway, I had a great time seeing everyone.  I got to see Mike and Mark and Mark's kids.  I think I did really well with all the temptations. 

 

Mammy DID EXTRA WELL. She had a good time, came home feeling good, had a few things she loved, ate healthy the other times, and exercised. KAPOW!

Tales From the Scale

Tuesday I will be weighing in for the first time in a couple of weeks. I'm taking measurements, pics, weighing and using this as feedback on what I'm doing in the kitchen and in the gym.

My goal is to change my outlook on body image success. For a long time I've struggled with wanting to weigh certain numbers even if it meant I didn't look as good. I am also SO COMMITTED to truly building some nice legs. I may not like the scale during this process but it's important to keep my end goal in mind.

Chris took these pictures last night (don't ask why we were posed out on a bench), and it's the first time I've seen a shot of my legs where I couldn't believe they were on my body. I also included my favorite shot of my new HAIR!

Building a good set of legs might make the scale go wonky. I have to DEAL WITH IT. That's why I am weighing once a month AND learning that anything worth having is worth suffering to get!

In my maintenance phase it's been the hardest obstacle. It's harder than food, showing up to the gym, and anything else. While losing weight it's all about the numbers...right? In maintenance it's all about the mirror and learning to be happy with how you look and not some shrinking number.

When you add in tweaking your physique you have to learn to put the big picture in the front of your mind. You don't have the luxury of worshiping the scale alter. If you do, you GET NOWHERE and have the same ole body with the same ole complaints.

Tomorrow I will post a video of my accountability system and organizing so that I stay on top of my goals. I talked about it last week and spent the last few days getting my butt in gear.

Now for an old blog. It was written in 2007. Seems like things never change. LOL

http://phit-n-phat.com/blogs/phit-n-phat/archive/2007/10/17/oh-the-scale-is-terrible.aspx

39 Weeks and Counting

Have you ever set a big goal that was so far away that RIGHT NOW it's hard to stay focused? I have done that. Next June I am going to compete in Figure again.

I love this sport. Lifting weights makes me so happy. Seeing my body change based on my own hard work is challenging. Eating, well, I don't love that part but I do love eating healthy and challenging myself to find pleasure in foods that will keep me on the earth for a long time to come. You can't get rid of me easily. You girls will be 80 years old still getting emails from me talking about our senior hotness!

I have to admit I'm in the total fake it til you make it mode, though. Thank God for prepping food because if I didn't have a fridge full of healthy eats COOKED and ready to go I might be taking the slackers way out - meaning eating crap and feeling sorry for myself. I'm just cheap enough to eat all my healthy stuff because I don't want to waste a dime that can go into fake nails, hair extensions, MAC, and hoochie clothes. OK...so I do like to spend money - just on fun stuff. Besides, Logan has a birthday, drum lessons starting, and a bunch of other things coming up. No time to waste clean eats!

It's hard to explain my sour mood, though. It's like I'm tired but not exhausted, busy but not getting anything done, and goal focused yet so far out I can't taste it. So, yesterday while on the elliptical I had a moment of clarity. I shot a video of my thoughts.

Today I just need to remember how I best operate. I might make myself a huge calendar to hang in the bedroom that I can cross off each day. I would love a big ole motivation corner somewhere in the house where I can keep my goals up, calendar in focus, and even pictures. I ain't just talking figure competition either. I'm talking house stuff I want done, things for Logan I need to finish, etc.

Basically, it feels like life is swirling around me and I need to turn off the wind machine. I know most of it is self-imposed. My husband is going to roll his eyes when he reads this blog. I am the WORST at putting extra pressure on myself. So, today, I am going to figure out how to find the wind machine switch and at least set it to low. Stay tuned. If I come up with some decent ways to get the chaos under control I shall share with you.

OK...I feel better just blogging about it.

Judgements

"It always amazes me to think that every house on every street is full of so many stories; so many triumphs and tragedies, and all we see are yards and driveways.”

My heart is aching today for a few people in this world today and they don't know who they are or that someone is thinking of them.

I ache for people who look at others and make assumptions about their health. I ache for people who think they "know" what someone else goes through to be what the outward appearance presents. And, when these same people lose out on a valuable lesson because of their own judgmental thoughts.

Never, EVER look at someone and think you "know" what they go through to be in the shape they are today.

Last week, I got extensions and changed my hair. I have recently went through lots of plastic surgery to fix loose skin and look like someone who may have always had it "together" with eating and exercising.

At the same time, I had SEVERAL people tell me that I have no idea what it feels like to be FAT. Literally, I have business cards with a before/after picture because some people get so caught up with how I look now that they can't believe I lost 110lbs and was ALWAYS overweight. Seriously, 20 years of being overweight and 5 years of being fit.

It doesn't bother me personally. I like looking like I have always taken care of myself! What DOES BOTHER ME is that all my knowledge and advice is poop until they figured out I had lost weight.

My personal experience IS IMPORTANT, but I don't always have time to go into all that makes Corinne. Are you going to be the girl who listens with a deaf ear to someone like me because of WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW? You never now when an opportunity presents itself, people. Always be listening and thinking how you can better yourself.

Have you thought this or felt this way?

I see a woman obviously 60 or so lbs overweight walking slowly on a trail with another girl. She better pick up the pace if she's going to lose some weight.

Yes, that could be me and Mammy yesterday. We walk slow because we are training for a half-marathon and will be there for three or more hours. You wouldn't know that by watching us, though.

I see a girl who needs to "tone up a little" just putting in time on the stationary bike.

That could be a friend of mine who recently had a knee injury and is doing the only thing she can until the doctor clears her. Did you realize keeping a healthy habit is what she's doing?

I notice that girl eating fries, burgers, and a dessert. Must be nice to eat like that all the time.

Maybe you didn't see all the healthy food she ate all week to EARN a burger and dessert.

That girl is crazy if she thinks three slices of thin crust pizza will help her lose weight.

Oh...you didn't know last week she was eating a whole medium by herself and this week she's trying to make better choices.

You will never help yourself if you are judging what others do. What you can do is look at what YOU are doing and make it the BEST it can be.

Like I tell Logan, my son, you have control over YOU. When you are busy watching what others do - you are focusing on something you have NO CONTROL over.

I find people who always notice what others do can't tell you much about their own behaviors. Often it's a defense tactic because they don't want to look at what they are doing until it's out of control. I've done it myself many times and catch myself getting caught up in it even now. What I also know about me is that often I need to pay more attention to my own decisions, clean up my act, and then suddenly I don't notice what others are doing so much.

The last part of this is simple. Today, be the best you can be. Hope that others see your actions and make a judgement that whatever you are doing is making you radiate happiness. Regardless of your shape or your size - you are so positive and focused on being a better person they want to be just like you.

Today I am going to be that person: smile on my face, outstanding attitude, and kindness in my actions. You never know when someone will silently judge you to be an inspiration.

Are Your Weightloss Goals and Expectations Realistic?

We all have goals. Every last one of us has a goal they want to accomplish with their health and body.

I have girls comment frequently, "I have no idea what my goal weight is. What if I get there and it isn't enough? What if I have never been thin? Maybe I can't be thin."

You know, I had those thoughts about a 1000 times. Seriously, I had NEVER been thin. I had only once weighed less than 175 in my adult life and that was 172 for a couple of days after a night out drinking. Can we say dehydrated? But, let me tell you...I was proud to see 172 no matter how ridiculous I acted to get there. Then, within a year, I was back to 250.

This is why I plead with people to not make a final number destination a goal. It's OK to think about a number but it's not your real goal. Your real goal is the habits and lifestyle that lead to number results. Spend your time making goals like...

- eat X number of fruits every day.

- drink X number of diet sodas this week instead of regular sodas.

- cut back to 1 slice of cheese versus two on my sandwiches this week.

- eat baked chips instead of regular chips this week.

- eat 500 calories for breakfast every day no matter how many calories I eat the rest of the day.

- walk 10 minutes after dinner every night this week if I plan to have a bedtime snack.

Notice how none of these goals are overly ambitious? That's what it takes to get to where I am. Trust me, getting to the point that a protein shake is satisfying for a bedtime snack didn't happen day one.

A few years ago I went from eating all the ice cream I wanted from the carton to actually just making myself put a BUNCH in a bowl but not going back for seconds. I didn't even have a measurement goal! I just said I would quit eating from the carton but I'm sure I still ate 3 cups every night.

You know what? I lost weight. I did because I knew I wanted ice cream every night and so I ate a LITTLE better during the day so I could have a honking bowl of ice cream. When that didn't work anymore I moved to a lower sugar version of my honking bowl. Eventually, I lost enough weight and felt so good that I started making bigger changes. That's called getting your butt some momentum.

The real key to losing weight is simple. Don't start stuff you know you can't do. TODAY you might not be ready to go from Dunkin Donuts to oats and egg whites. I bet you can at least get a lower calorie donut than yesterday.

For those of you who struggle with a lot of weight to lose I feel for you. I feel for you because you have the panic siren going off in your head every morning you wake up and look in the mirror. It's another day you hate your reflection and get to dread trying to diet.

Stop. You have to! You have to realize there is no panic siren. There is no guy standing there with a stopwatch timing you until you lose your weight. The day I finally said I just gotta start doing something is the day I never looked back again. I started believing in myself because I finally realized I needed to trade in my daily large Blizzard habit for a McDonalds caramel sundae. I had to go for walk every day even when it hurt. 10 minutes on days I hated it and 60 on days the world was my oyster.

It finally dawned on me that I didn't have to follow the Zone, Atkins, Weight Watchers, Sonoma, Clean Eating, or whatever until I was at a point where those types of eating principles aligned with where I was.

Expect to fail. Expect to try again. Expect to make a better-but-wrong choices. Don't ever expect to be perfect and you won't fail again.

My Expectations

There are days when I am so proud of myself and for all that I have accomplished with my health. My life is filled with great habits:

• I exercise without fail. Even when I don't do what's on the plan I do something.
• I create menus each week and prepare food.
• I include fruits and vegetables daily for my family.
• I drink water and a lot of it.
• I take my vitamins.

These are the things I have to remember each day that are a million miles away from my old self. It's so easy to get caught up in wanting more from myself and forgetting how lucky I am to be where I am.

I wish, more than anything, while losing weight that I would have practiced the art of appreciation for my body and my efforts. Lately I've heard so many people worried that when they reach goal it will never be enough. You know, I have to agree that it may never be.

Along my journey I was excited and thrilled with the changes but never really took the time to embrace and appreciate all that was good at each part of my journey. I always had another goal or was looking so far down the road I forgot where I was. It is easy to be CONSUMED with what the mirror shows you, the tape tells you and the scale gives you, it's easy to lose sight of who you are and the lifestyle you want.

I don't have the answers and I wish I did. If I could help the next girl losing her weight, one piece of advice I would share is to remember that you need to mentally change just as much as you do physically. Take time everyday to appreciate all the things that are getting better. Some days you might get the love from the scale and other days you might eat a piece of fruit when it would have been a candy bar.

Wherever you are in the journey, take the time to be thankful you are changing your life.

Am I Tacky or Is This Girl Not Healthy Looking?

I received this in email today as an example of "ideal body image" for someone wanting six pack abs. It included a 20-minute Core Routine that is actually good. I hate that I am not able to tell you "how" good it is since I can't do abs right now, but anyone who wants to try it and post back...WE WOULD LOVE IT!

But, let's look at this picture. Is it just me or does she look way too skinny? Granted she has a six pack but her arms and legs look crazy small.

Let me say these things:

1.  A three-day a week 20-minute core routine is hype trying to sell you a magazine subscription if it promises a six pack. I'm all for some ab training! Just do it in addition to and not in replace of your cardio and strength training.

2. You want six pack abs like this? This girl is dieting like mad and probably too much because her body fat has got to be super low. This is just my opinion but she needs to add some weight and you need to have a clean diet to see your own abs.

Avoid looking at or believing these images! I am glad this chick's face isn't shown because I'm not trying to flame her. I just don't want you girls getting these same emails and then every day thinking you aren't ever going to look good unless you look like this.

The best thing you can do for your psyche is to find some images of REAL bodies and put those up as your motivation. If you have ideas and want my opinion, just post a link in the comments section. If found this website fascinating and it shows celebrities looking good but with flaws. Honestly, I gravitated to curvy almost every time AND I like when my role model has some flaws. It's real and it doesn't make me think I can never do that!

I am most proud to say when I asked Chris if there was anyone famous he thought I looked like body wise and would be a good example he picked FERGIE! I couldn't believe it but the King sees with those love goggles. :) Anyway, his words were...

She's fit, got good shape, curvy, healthy looking, and she isn't stick thin.

I agree with all that. But, honestly, I choose myself. I like how I look and I like that after surgery I'm in control of how GREAT I am going to look.

At least from this picture I know two things: Fergie knows the Queen's signature dance move and the Queen will have more arm definition. ;)

Thank You...I've Been Working Very Hard

My girls. I love them. They are beautiful, work hard, and are some of the most self-sacrificing people you will ever meet in your life. These women truly give everything they have to their families, friends, and co-workers.

If you were to listen to how they talk to themselves, though, you would think they were the scourge of the earth. They call themselves...

• Lazy when they are really just putting others in front of their own needs.
• Too fat and disgusting to love when their appearance has nothing to do with how much we adore them.
• Unmotivated when they are just beat down by life, kids, work, and household duties.

You see, they and you have PLENTY of things to be proud of in your life. You do so many great things but all you want to do is focus on all the things you aren't doing for yourself.

Hmmm...maybe it's time you realize it's OK to do some things for yourself? It's not selfish. It's called being a person. You are worth time and effort just like your kids and your husbands.

Now, you also need to know that you won't feel deserving until you quit calling yourself names, quit dismissing compliments given to you, and quit focusing on all that is wrong with you.

I shot some video today because it is a recurring theme with my clients. I swear, I do more mental work than exercise routines and menus. I got plenty of that on the site but the mental game we always have more work to do.

The exercise schedules and menus are great. Trust me, once you get to where you can follow the PNP plans because you took the mental anguish out of the way you will be another Amy, Deyanna, or Carla. I got lots of girls who have gotten out of their own way to get to their goals.

Thank You!

The Gift of Fat

The King (Chris) and I have a running joke called, "Don't be that person that gives the gift of fat to people." Nothing gets my new butt all swelled up more than The Gift of Fat.

What is The Gift of Fat? It's easy.

• At Christmas we get loads of cookie tins, popcorns, and other gifts of fat delivered to us that are loaded with junk.
• On your birthday someone always feels honor bound to give an ADULT a cake.
• You show up in the break room and someone has brought in all the leftover cookies and goodies from their kids' party this weekend because their wife doesn't want it in the house.
• At Halloween you get loads of candy dumped on every corner of the office because the kids got too much.

These are all simple examples of how as a society we celebrate every single week of our lives away with gifts of fat. Call me crazy but on my birthday let me leave work an hour early and save the $20 on a cake.

Today one of my clients, April, received a gift of fat in email and posted in our PNP forums what to do - throw away a free Blizzard from DQ or use it as a special treat? Sounds innocent, right? I mean I'm not such a hard ankle that I don't want you to ever have something good.

But see, April wouldn't have a Blizzard and feel special. She would feel bad and it would be one more day she didn't get control of her decisions.  

April, just got back from my own women's retreat here in Nashville where I challenged her personally in our one on one to simply ask herself, "what would old April do," when she is confronted with eating decisions. Her goal is to get to Onederland and a free Blizzard ate in her car isn't what I call the fire in the belly needed to change her life.

So, she deleted it AND she even emailed DQ to get her off their mailing list! Hoorah for her! You see, if April ate that Blizzard in a year from now she wouldn't remember it. I bet you anything that taking control over another avenue of sabotage and doing what NEW APRIL does is something she will hold onto for the rest of her life. This decision made another huge impact on her future success.

You know, April, I'm so proud of you. This last year you have grown with PNP in ways the scale can never measure. You think before you eat, you make plans, you are quick to ask for help when things are out of control, you offer sweet advice to other girls, AND you are now so active and strong that I can't remember the last time you couldn't workout because of you back. Yep, I note and remember every little sign of progress.

Happy Birthday Girl. I'm sure there are plenty of people who will read this blog you inspired and think twice the next time they get a Gift of Fat. Love ya!