Phit-N-Phat...Making Fitness and Weightloss a Lifestyle

Mental Weightloss Training

"Sometimes the loudest noise is the chatter of thoughts inside our heads."

So what is Mental Weightloss Training? It's the work you must do between your ears to see the results of longterm weightloss and maintenance.

We all know around PNP about Fat Girl Thinking (FGT). It's the little chic in our brains that tells us all the negative things about us. She wants us to eat through stress, finds our flaws before our beauty, and repeats all the time that we can't and don't deserve to put our health before kids, husbands, jobs, and friends.

Mental Weightloss Training (MWT) is something everyone needs from the start of the journey and well into the maintenance phase. I've watched myself struggle over the years to shut the old voices up in my head. At times I think I have two or three FGT chics having a party up in my head. I can tell you that only a small few of you will be able to lose your weight WITHOUT changing how you feel about you. And those that can do it will struggle with keeping it off if you aren't figuring out how to change the internal messaging going on in your head.

How do you do that? I would start with finding out where are you most in need of repair.

Do you live by the scale validation? If so, quit weighing and just do your plan. Remove the one thing that gives you elation one day and crushing blows the next EVEN when you stay on plan. 

When you look in the mirror are you disgusted? Limit how often you can look. Get used to not looking at yourself unless you walk in the mirror and give yourself a compliment then turn around and walk away. I've draped sheets over mirrors before to keep myself from picking me apart. I had to get used to not doing it before I could change the verbiage!

What's your most important MWT?

I can promise you that the messages you send yourself on the inside you WILL follow through with on the outside. It won't stop overnight. It takes practice to quiet the noise in your head and allow the positive to come through but you STAND NO CHANCE of changing the message until you do something different.

 

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Am I A Runner Because I Run Slow?

Let me tell you something that makes me sad. I read in BIG running forums and know people (who I love BTW) who feel like slow people are not "runners". It's so tough for me to read because I know and have coached MANY women who truly struggle to run and I don't mean just physically. It's the mental battle.

I started running significantly overweight. If I remember correctly I was well over 220lbs. My first 5K was 52 min. Trust me...I was running. Hell, my body felt like it had been sprinting the whole time. My first half-marathon I ran was just under four hours. I was hauling ass to beat the cut-off! I may have missed it because they were tearing down the finish line but it was twenty-freaking-six half-marathons ago! Booyah.

Although the race was hard, this is what was really hard.

• Showing up to the gym each day to run slower than some people walking. 
• Imagining what people thought about me at my weight shuffling along.
• Trying to find bras and clothes that worked for my body.
• Walking into a running store to buy "running shoes" when I looked nothing like one.
• Telling people I was doing a half-marathon and when they asked how fast I ran I would have to say, "well, I'm really slow but..."

That's just a few of the struggles outside of my feet, hips, knees, and lungs killing me. I remember doing long runs on the weekends and needing to sleep all day.

I tell this story because the last thing I want to hear is people giving up on running because they are trying to keep up with others or feeling too ashamed to be out there. The good news is that TODAY there are more runners of all shapes and sizes than ever before. Walkers and walk/runners are now welcomed into race fields. 

I know it's tough. I was always last place, the biggest, had loose skin flopping in my race pictures, etc. Running is physically hard but for some of us it's mentally hard. In my Phit-N-Phat forums we have a thread for racers. I posted something today because we had someone who had tried to run with a partner who was much faster. Rather than doing her own thing she tried to not "hold her back" and push so hard she quit running due to pain. 

You know, I'm blessed because my original partner was and is much faster than me. I always felt "apologetic" for my slowness BUT also wanted to keep running. She was always a cheerleader and we agreed to run races "together" because we were there together. You don't have to run next to someone to have a shared experience. We've never finished one race together but we have plenty of start line photos, memories, and plans for future races.  

So here was my advice and how I like to "train" my people in my website. I hope it inspires you to chase your running or walking dreams if you are in doubt.

...you need to run YOUR pace. When you are trying to re-learn or start to run it's foolish to think you should run any kind of pace. Your body will tell you what you can handle. My original pace back in the day was 3.5MPH. I remember the first day (months later) I ran 4.0 which is what Angela casually walks. LOL. But you know what, I was PROUD because I was doing it. I even had several people and running forums tell me I wasn't running. Well, now I've out ran a lot of those people, gotten faster over the years, and inspired others to try it. Who's the runner now??? Yep...it doesn't matter your pace...it matters you get out there.

Happily Maintaining...

Talking with Chris this weekend I've decided to blog a little more on my daily life. My blog has always been a source of working out what goes on in my head WHILE helping other people see what it feels like to be a girl who had to lose 100+ pounds and keep it off.

After six years, maintenance is still so hard for me. My life is spent reading through weightloss journals, diets, workouts, etc., to help my clients lose weight. I also use my own life experience to help them so it's easy to get caught up in feeling like MY LIFE must be one giant diet. It never really occurred to me the influence my job has until the last few months.

Another tough aspect is a tangled body image for myself. I've privately on PNP struggled with what do I want to look like. The short of it is I have admired figure competitors and competed for four years now that I couldn't let go of a look I'm just not willing to maintain these days.

It's not that I am ready to gain a bunch of weight. Not at all. I just train and eat different now. My life is filled (happily) with half-marathons, Tough Mudders, and eating to compete rather than dieting for a specific look for a show. I can still look great but I'm just not going to have the specific look I admire.

Truth be told I miss the shows...I miss working hard for the stage because I enjoy that sport, but I don't miss dieting and sacrificing Vegas trips, date nights, Subway, and pancakes with my son just because we feel like it that night. 

On our date night this week, Chris and I talked about all of this. The last few weekends I have not tracked my food and just ate more intune with my brain. I also ate things I don't eat Monday through Friday and had wine with my man. In my BRAIN I know it's fine. It's my emotional side that feels guilty or like if my girls see me enjoying my weekends then the whole site is going to be in a downward spiral. 

I know from losing my weight that it takes TIGHT weekends to get the weight off. But I also know I did my time already and I deserve to enjoy myself on the weekends. Often, though, the girls do as they see without remembering they haven't earned their golden ticket just yet. I know I cannot keep living my life as a diet "model" but just coach them on how they should eat now and SHOW them how it works in life when you are done.

My Weekend...

On Friday, I took a day off from exercise because I had a huge active week and another 8 mile run Saturday morning (already did a 10-miler two days prior). The family stayed in and we ate our normal healthy stuff.

Saturday I fueled up for my 8 miles and was STARVING all day. I ATE on cue and kept it healthy. Knowing we were going out for a date night I didn't want to bust in like Kool-Aid Man to the restaurant and eat whatever was in front of me.

Before we went out at 7:00 pm I had some brussel sprouts and pork from my weekly meal plan. Well, I was full so we decided to go to our local bar and hang out. At 11:00 pm I had drank a good bit of wine, danced with my man, snapped our usual silly pictures for Facebook, and we were starved. We decided on Ruby Tuesday to-go since we had to beat the babysitter.

I ordered a Turkey Burger on dry whole wheat toast, a dry baked potato, and was going to have a salad. When we got there the salad bar had all of Logan's favorites and not many of my own so I decided I really would rather split a dessert than choke down salad at midnight. I made Logan a salad for lunch on Sunday and we got the Blondie! I'm just saying it is my all time favorite dessert in the world and when the Queen has dessert this is what she gets!

I ate every bit of my dinner and a few nibbles of fries off Chris' plate. Yep, I BLT, too! But, I gave Chris the ice cream from our dessert since it's not my favorite and I ate only 1/2 of the blondie. Let me say, that's a big win in my book. I am a clean plate club member and I can put down VOLUMES of food, y'all. I did eat past full but I can eat until miserable and I didn't. Baby, stinking-steps. 

Sunday rolled in and I was TIRED (hungover). I made myself workout but just a lighter workout of some sculpting and 25 minute HIIT from Turbo Fire. I ate healthy but at lunch I really wanted the leftover blondie so I had it. Now, the win here is that normally I gulp food in front of the computer. I made myself sit at the table and ENJOY the dessert. If I'm going to eat 400 calories in dessert then I better ENJOY IT!

Later that day I did a great food prep (starting at 3:30 pm) that was wicked fast and then the boys wanted Ruby Tuesday. Honestly, we love going as a family once a week for family night and it almost always happens on Sunday. After cooking all day to post on Facebook, Logan playing, and Chris and I doing laundry we just want to relax at our favorite spot. We went and I had a big salad and pasta with marinara and chicken/shrimp mix. I also had a couple of Skinny Mojitos since Chris was driving. 

We came home, messed around the house, put Logan in bed and watched Ice and Cocoa. It was fun and Chris has been teasing me all weekend because he thinks I'm his Cocoa. LOL. Can you tell which couple is which?

I guess I'm redefining the way I see Corinne. My desire to just be really lean and hard is waning a lot. My mind for months now has been focused on being sporty, having fun, and healthy. Sure I keep an eye on the scale and such, but I'm also starting to see that body image perfectionism does nothing but make me crazy.

I could never obtain the goals that my head has for me. It doesn't mean throw in the towel; just means my goals are WRONG. I'd love big, firm, muscular legs but my skin can't do that. I also love Tough Mudders and that DESPITE my skin on my legs, ARE strong and conditioned enough to leap and climb. That's a goal worth smiling about it and working hard for.

So, that's my weekend. Today I'm sure the scale is up a bit but I didn't weigh. It's not a reflection of my week. It will be back down by Wed or Thur when I do weigh. I'm back to my good foods, regular programming, and such. Every day can't be a weekend and to have a little more there I gotta have a little less now.

I'm honest in the fact that if I was to lose a few pounds I would smile but it's just got to be a byproduct of a good life. My goal is maintaining, having fun, being athletic, and happy accidents on the scale are always welcomed. 

And, if my husband's words aren't enough, I saw this post from Scott Abel today. Timely and true.

Sad to think a 'perfect or ideal' body or its pursuit makes you “happy” - it doesn’t. It only makes you tired and exhausted from the pursuit, which makes you more unhappy and unsatisfied with yourself. No diet in the world or the results from it, will leave you feeling "good about yourself" if your default position in life is that you feel you are never good enough - no diet will deliver that kind of salvation to you - stop being in a place where you are only comfortable with life, by feeling bad about yourself within your living of it!

 

Your Weightloss Circle of Influence

I've been getting signs from the world it's time for me to give this talk about enabling.

Most of us are trying to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle. We have PNP and other online support groups that I am a major part of and we share and learn from each other how to have a better, fitter, and healhier life. I think most of us got to this point of finding a new lifestyle because we don't eat right and/or move enough from day-to-day. What do I mean?

1. We don't prepare ahead of time so we grab junk food.

2. We have a bad day and decide a burger and shake will make us feel better.

3. After battling all day with our jobs, kids, and life we sit in the quiet of our home eating ice cream and cookies to relax.

4. Our day was long so we skip workouts and then sleep in never feeling like we get enough rest.

These are not "treats". These are faux fixes to problems we don't want to face. We don't want to prepare for life; we let it happen to us. We don't want to tell someone they stomped on our feelings; we smile and keep taking it. We don't find ways to cope through the day; we await a few moments of peace and avoid what's coming AGAIN tomorrow.

Then we turn to our circle of influence. These are the people in your life that help you be a better person. I know most of us have good people around us. Some of you have a few, ummm, weeds that need to be pulled, but for the most part we all have friends and family who are helping us be a better person.

This the part I need EVERYONE to pay attention to: quit enabling your pals and you quit allowing it.

I can't tell you how many times I read in all my challenges, groups, and boards where someone falls off the wagon and 1,000 people come flying in to tell them it's OK. Damn it! It's not OK!!!! 

If you had a drinking problem and decided after a tough day you were going to just do a couple of shots on the way home, I doubt Susie would be there saying, "go ahead...you can get back to sobriety tomorrow."

When someone has a TREAT, I absolutely know they deserve to have it. I'm not advocating deprivation to lose weight. But a treat isn't at a Burger King, standing in your pantry, in a gas station, or by yourself hoping no one sees you. 

A treat is enjoyed, savoured, VAULUED, and should leave you feeling satisfied. If you show up and blow up in the forums with those feelings then I am the first one to say GOOD FOR YOU GIRL! 

When a friend comes in and posts and it reads sadness, guilt, what was I thinking, etc., then don't tell them it's OK. You know what? That's insulting because you aren't really LISTENING to what your friend NEEDS to hear. Don't give them pity. Give them help, a plan, ask them what was really bothering them, and come up with some real support on how to make the next time better. 

I am so proud to say I have a dear friend who recently broke an eight month binge-free record. Now, she feels like shit, but her words and story always helps so many. As she journaled on PNP what happened, she worked through the WHY, what cues did she miss, what could she do different next time, how she can pray on it, and then faced the music of how she WILL FEEL for days to come.

You know what? She's done that with each binge over the last few years and what was once a monthly thing now is once every eight months. God be with her the next two weeks as she processes the junk out of her body and mind, but also I pray we all learn from her strength that she refuses to just say, "tomorrow is a new day." She says, "tomorrow is a new day AND HERE'S HOW I AM DOING IT DIFFERENT."

Always remember, it's easy to move on; it's a dedicated person who REFLECTS and moves on to a better a plan.

Will Weightloss Make Me Happy?

In our PNP Beachbody February Team Forum we had someone talk about how the TLC show "The 600lb Woman" really got to her. Even though she doesn't that much weight to lose, she felt her pain when she went from 600 to 157lbs but still faced the same mental issues. She still wasn't happy.

I think all of us go through the process of "when I reach X weight THEN I will be happy." Doesn't it just seem like if were thin life would be easy. I know from experience that the what the scale says and what size you wear really doesn't make you happy. Sure, it's nice to not have your weight be up but trust me, if you don't love your life that number isn't going to make the shit around you smell better.

Below is what I responded to my girls talking about this. Hope it makes some sense and I hope you all in our team support group will keep chatting about this. It's key to future success...and happiness.

 

It is true that reaching a certain weight or size isn't what brings you happiness. I don't know the answer, but my thoughts are when you look at your life and WHY you are unhappy, the weight is typically a symptom of the bigger issue.

You might be unhappy because you don't face problems (you stuff them down and cope with food leading to those extra pounds), you allow people to run over you (allowing YOU to run over YOU in the process), etc. 

I mean most of us gained weight because there were things and situations in life that forced us into behaviors of unhealth. When those things are fixed usually our focus on our health can be, too.

Tough Mudder AZ: My Experience

This weekend I took on the biggest challenge of my new found active life: I survived the AZ Tough Mudder on Saturday and the Phoenix Half Marathon on Sunday. For those of you counting, I was .5 miles shy of a marathon but it was harder than that!

It's taken me a couple of days to even process what the event meant to me physically and mentally. I've gone through several races, competitions and training weekends but nothing rocked me like this weekend. Honestly, it is going to be a pivotal point in my life. 

While doing the Tough Mudder I was shocked at how I approached things. Believe it or not, I was scared, panicked at times, constantly doubting myself, wondering if I was "too fat" for all this, and feeling so LIKE THE OLD ME. 

There are times when I think I've put my old, negative thinking, unconfident person to bed and then I step WILDLY outside my comfort zone and find I still have lots of work to do...mentally.

What really shocked me was that I'm not the over-achiever I "think" I am. It may seem that I defeat a lot of odds but truth be told, I found out at the race I sell myself short. Often I set the bar for myself low enough to win but not high enough to fail.

I've always done events for the glory of just doing it and the last few years I knew deep down it wasn't good enough. When I competed in Figure I knew it was all about the outside and there was no "competing" in that arena for me. I wanted so bad to be better each time, which I probably was, but there was no way to KNOW I was better. It didn't matter anyway. The fulfillment I wanted wasn't going to happen.

This past year as I stopped Figure and moved into running again I've gotten some of my confidence and swagger back. Somehow I lost sight of the fact that there is more to enjoying workouts than what it makes you look like. 

This race awakened in me something. I have the desire to push myself harder and set some new goals. As I describe the race day I hope to share some of them with you.

We arrived a couple of hours early to make sure we could get our packets. We marked our foreheads, yes, they write your number on your forehead. It was 39 degrees and we were a little cold. I knew my biggest fear going in was being cold. Boy was I right and wrong at the same time.

They had us climb an eight foot wall just to get to the start line. That was a first for me. I even goose egged my ankle on the first shot. We got an amazing motivational speech. This video is from one of the later heats, but Kathy and were slotted for 9:20am. I wish I could listen to this every morning before a workout and how he kept it so lively I'll never know.

 

We're off! Running through smoke and just happy to be there. We go through our first Kiss the Mud obstacle where we army crawl through mud under barbwire. I gained 10lbs after that. I remember telling Kathy we train next time running with ankle weights and weighted vests.

The next awful obstacle was the Artic Enema. Think of one of those long, construction style dumpsters. They build a barbwire wall in the middle, leave a little opening in the bottom, then fill the sucker with ICE and GREEN WATER. I seriously felt panic when I came out of the water. We just jumped out as far we could. I literally lost my breath when I came out and still had to get under the wall, swim to the wall, and climb out. This picture shows how awesome it was.

A few obstacles later we had to jump these big stacks of hay with a big gulley in between. I was scared. until this race I didn't realize I was so scared of JUMPING over heights. Being high isn't anything. Leaps of faith ARE HUGE. This is where I limited myself. Both times we had these types of things I didn't jump all of them. I ended up jumping down in the hole and climbing my way out. I'm a good climber but I'm also chicken-shit about face plants, missing my footing, and basically my mind got the best of  me. At times I let myself talk ME into "at least doing something" and we touched on that yesterday. :)

Twice we had to go through obstacles where they shock you. The first is the Electric Eel. You crawl on under live electrical wires in water getting shocked. It feels like someone punching you from the inside with a slight tinge. At the end they somehow juice you extra because by the end of the crawl I was scrambling from getting shocked over and over again. It leaves you sort of twitchy.

The second shock is Electroshock Therapy. Two options: crawl face high through mud to avoid the volts or run like a crazy person hoping to make it. No one gets to the end. This video shows how stupid some were until they figured out to just get the F down. Chris told us "just start crawling and you'll make it." We listened!

 

My biggest regret is I didn't try one event. I walked around it but Kathy took it on and conquered it! I was proud of her and proud to know that one day I'm going to get up to the top of that one. 

The last awful obstacle that scared the crap out of me was walk the plank. You jump off a 15 ft high bridge into a greed, icy cold bath and swim out. I almost threw up but said if you just step off you can't turn back. I did it and cried a tad when I got out. That's how bad the jump and the cold swimming as if drowning got to me.

All in all, 29 obstacles, 4:45 minutes, two Gu's, lots of laughs, and then another 13.1 miles the next day I can say this was a pivotal and one of the best weekends of my life. I learned a lot about me. I'm not where I want to be but I'm no longer afraid to challenge myself to go beyond what I have believed in myself. 

This year I plan to do two more of these and I'm setting some new running and personal goals. I've got several half marathons to do, some PR's to set, and a couple of personal goals I'm keeping to myself for now. It's going to be a great year and I can't wait to surprise myself AND to maybe even fail because I'm reaching so high.

Before I close, I want to thank a few people. Kathy who made this weekend so special. I told Chris there is no one I think would've been a better partner. You inspire me with the way you approach these things. I want to have the I can do it attitude you displayed. You are a special girl and I'm so happy we've gotten to know each other better this year.

Chris, my love, who gets me, understands me, follows me around to these things, and is my biggest cheerleader. All that I am today I owe to you. Your love is what fills the holes when I don't have enough self-love to do it. 

Jane. My sweet Jane. You have been to the majority of my major life moments and cheered, organized, took pictures, counseled, and just been there. You are a dear friend who was meant to be in my life. I know you have no interest in the getting muddy but we've got that Goofy to think about!

At Least I'm Doing Something

We had a PNP girl call herself out today in the forums today because she's tired of avoiding her Insanity workouts for Wii Biggest Loser. Is there anything wrong with those workouts? No. But if you know in your heart you CAN do Insanity and are just plugging in a workout that's not challenging you to do something then YEP...we got a problem.

Often I hear people under workout all the time. It's most common with people who had to find their fitness. They were once really overweight or never really worked out hard. In the early stages ANY workout is an accomplishment because you weren't doing jack to begin with. 

Then you get fitter, lose some weight, and put in some half-assed workouts that don't get you where you want to go but you are STILL THINKING ANYTHING is better than nothing. 

There are aspects to losing weight that can be easy and others that are hard. If you don't feel like you are working hard to lose weight you AREN'T. It's not just workouts but all the other areas, too. Most people think the hard part of dieting is being HUNGRY. I'm just telling everyone that's the least of your worries. If you are that hungry you are probably dieting wrong and need to comment here for some help.

What's hard is the LIFESTYLE and WORK involved. Yes, you need to do these things most of your life to lose weight and KEEP IT OFF:

1. Sweat a lot, breathe hard, and lift heavy stuff when you exercise. If you are on the phone, chatting with pals, or wearing a smile in MOST of your workouts then quit bitching you aren't losing weight.

2. Fix your own food. I'd love to put everyone on a fun-food diet with shiny wrappers, waitresses and boxes but you're going to be hungry, have low energy, probably catch "food poisoning" more than the average person, and feel as if all you do is work hard for no resutls. The people I know who eat real food and have it prepped on Sunday LOSE WEIGHT!

3. Say NO to the crap you know you are signing up for to avoid steps 1 and 2. Don't tell me you don't have time to do 1 and 2 but you sit on your butt during your kids practices (last I looked you parked your car somewhere and could walk the parking lot or something), go to movies, watch TV, go out to dinner with friends, etc. There's nothing wrong with having a life if you have one to live! Until 1 and 2 is done you haven't taken care of your business to afford luxuries.

And yes, socializing and such is a luxury. When you skip exercise and don't make time to eat right you are bouncing a check! You are over-drawing yourself. That's time you don't have right now. 

No more half-assed efforts, ladies. YOU deserve better. Doing something is what every single person in the world should do to live...not to lose weight.

Oh and I have a good rule of thumb for when it's time to "just do something."

• You better be in the new stages of getting started.
• You only "do soemthing" 1-2 x's a month to avoid skipping a workout (notice not weekly)
• OR, you are coming off a major life upheaval. 

 

Re-defining the Perfect Body

My private PNP members are lucky enough to follow my private journal where I get deep into my personal journey through weight loss and maintenance. Currently, I'm in therapy to learn more about myself and resolve some stinking-thinking that I have found most women have and don't talk ENOUGH about. In my journal, people thank me for telling my story because it sounds just like them!

This week I discussed how I am redefining two areas of my life: the love of racing and sports and the fear of eating and living outside a "diet" life. 

I have such a high  unrealistic body image standard for myself even though I know my body is just not made that way. My remaining loose skin and shorter legs are not going to change.

And, before someone jumps in here telling me to give my legs a chance you need to go BACK and read my whole blog! I have been maintaining and building muscle for SIX YEARS, had a lower body lift two years ago, and worked harder since to change it. 

I can CONFIDENTLY say it's time to deal with things with a new perspective! Besides, regardless if I'm not looking like my perfect image, I want more out of life than to keep "dieting" and start "fueling" to be the sports enthusiast I am. I want to eat my food because it's good for me and not expect it to change how I look. If it changes me, let it make me faster and do a pull-up!

With that said, a wonderful member of my team posted some words in my journal. I thought we could all benefit from Emily Y's wisdom. She "rambled" the following as a re-defining of the perfect body...

The perfect body...can pull itself up a cliff if it falls while out hiking.

The perfect body...can grab her child and run (easily) if someone is chasing them.

The perfect body...feeds the mind by reading and educating herself.

The perfect body...gets out of bed and doesn't feel stiff and in pain because the perfect body is flexible and taken care of.

The perfect body...functions well because it is fed well.

I AM all of these things. I am also...

Loved by the man of my dreams.

Surrounded by women of faith and strength with the same healthy attitude toward life.

Starting to see the perfect body is more a feeling than a reflection. When you value the right things with your body...what it can do...a lot of things fall into place.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve how you look. There's nothing wrong for me to want to look better, make improvements, and such. It's just that until I'm happy now I won't be happy any different. I've been thinner and bigger and the weight never changed my feelings.

When I did things that made me happy, read books about being better, and focused on surrounding myself with positivity I was excited with life and saw myself beautiful. Guess what? I'm on the path to doing those things again and it's working. And once I'm happy I'm sure my body will look and feel just fine.

 

My Journey Was Not Easy

I see women all day want the "lifestyle" to kick in RIGHT NOW so that losing weight and exercising is easy for them. They spend countless hours wishing it to be easy when that is not going to happen.

In fact, I spoke with someone last week about the concept of "does it ever get easy?" Me and my most successful girls do develop an auto-pilot mode with food prep, making a healthy choice, and doing workouts; but only in terms that they aren't still learning. The motivation, the temptations, the lure of food pushers never goes away and THAT STUFF makes it a daily battle.

Scott Abel wrote...

"What is the true reality of process? It is to stop thinking in linear terms. You need to be mentally and emotionally prepared to do the hard work required – and yet still be mature enough to accept there maybe frustration and disappointment along the way as well. There is nothing “real” to be gained from claiming victory over walking a well-paved road that has no obstacles." 

Why do you read my blog? Why do you join www.phit-n-phat.com? Why do you want me to be your Beachbody Coach? What makes YOU feel like I can help you?

I can tell you this...it ain't because I come on here telling you how easy I had it. I was 250lbs and started with walking when I was so embarrased to even be in the gym. 

You like me because I had to get knocked on my ass a lot but figured out a way to get back up. You follow me in therapy, read my struggles with self-acceptance, watch me portion out food and keep peanut butter out of the house because six years later I still want to eat like the "old me."

Face it! What makes me real to you is I AM YOU! 

Most races the first few YEARS of my weightloss journey I was in last place. DEAD LAST PLACE with women in their 50's, 60's and 70's kicking my butt. I competed in figure with loose skin so bad I had to tape it down inside the suit, try to cover scar lines from body lift surgery, and do it knowing there were only a few people in the audience who knew my story. Everyone else probably thought I forgot to diet.

Without all these things I wouldn't be who I am today. Most importantly, if things came easy I wouldn't try to keep reaching higher and reaching out further to you. 

I thought about my journey and how far I have come a lot this weekend. It's taught me to look for the tough spots and face them versus hide from them. I learned it's OK to cut things out of your life that are toxic to your body. You'll survive and probably be better for it. It showed me how to prepare and plan because you never know what life will throw at you. Without years of knowing how food can kill and heal, I doubt I would have the appreciation to know how much a healthy diet can help/heal my little Logan. 

And, then this weekend I had a monumental moment for me. When I started with my simple walks and trying to get healthy, my dear friend Laurie who was a lifetime runner got me to do some races. My first 5K took me 52 minutes while she was well under 30. We walked a half marathon together when she could easily run one.

We did so many races and training sessions "together" meaning we met up, chatted, and start our runs. I always was way behind but we called each other at the end to say "we're done and a psycho didn't get us!" At races, she would wait around at the finish for at least an hour so I always had someone there smiling and cheering for me. Many times when the crowds were gone and the finish line being torn down.

I've blogged it in the past, but without her I know I wouldn't be here. My self-esteem didn't have it at the time to go out on my own. I had to have someone believing in me when I didn't. My husband covered the home base of self-esteem, but Laurie got me believing I was an athlete when I looked and performed like anything but. I KNOW now athletes come in all shapes, sizes, and ages but back then I just felt fat, slow, and like everyone was looking at me thinking "why are you here?"

This weekend, for the first time ever, we met for a long run of 7 miles. We ran TOGETHER and mean the whole way. I even was able to talk. A couple of hills I had to say I'll finish at the top but I was so proud and amazed at far I've come. My heart rate on one hill WAS THE SAME as it was when we would walk for my first half-marathon. No kidding! It was high but I was running with my oldest and dearest friend!!! She's still faster but now I feel like I can give something back to her with company, accountability for the runs, and just laughs. 

It never escapes me each time I run that route with Laurie, my husband, or by myself all the times I was out there the last six years at different stages. I am still not the fastest and barely just average , but there's such a sense of pride in knowing I had to claw my way every step.

When it comes to workouts I've had to do every modification in the book like lift only my arms when others had weights or do pushups against a wall because it hurt to get on my knees. I've walked/jogged, started races early to make sure I can finish, and refused to eat out for months when I knew I would blow it and scared it would be the ONE time I couldn't get back on track.

Losing weight, keeping it off, and finding the desire to workout is tough. Still is. Many days I want to eat crap and take a nap. Most of the time I don't; sometimes I do. I've learned that it's OK to not be your best at any point in the journey. When you aren't your best you truly learn how to get better the next time if you stop long enough to appreciate the chance.

And, that's one reason I also do the Beachbody coaching now, along with my near and dear PNP community. BB believes you inspire others MORE when you have a story to tell and can work WITH people - side by side. I've been fortunate enough to take my struggles, keep working on them with dear friends, family, and clients, and then have PNP and Beachbody to reach the next Corinne. Regardless of where you are take the time to know you have it in you just like I did to change your life and others. Embrace those mistakes and obstacles and make them a part of your story. And if you decide you want influence the next person I'll be here to help.

Making Mistakes Helps You Lose Weight

“You have to make mistakes to find out who you aren't. You take the action, and the insight follows: You don't think your way into becoming yourself.” --- Anne Lamott

It's the first week of our January challenge. Guess what? Most of you are GUNG-HO right now. Warning to you: there is a mistake in your near future.

• A kid will get sick.
• A friend will break-up with her boyfriend and require you to drink with her.
• Your football team is playing.
• A husband will want pizza and not grilled chicken Friday night.
• By next week the work gang is off their "diet" and going out to the local Mexican restaurant.
• You'll need to go to the gym and the boss will make you work late.
• The alarm will go off at 5am but the baby was up all night and you will lay there.

Sad to say, but most of you will have at LEAST one of these things happen, beat yourself up for life happening and wait until the next challenge to get started AGAIN. Until that time you will just spin your wheels with your old habits that make you want to lose weight in the first place.

I'm telling you now that all of these things are going to happen for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. These are not the universe trying "F" with your head. It's called a part of life. 

Do you think when I lost over 100lbs it was roses? No way! I had death, birthdays, a child diagnosed with autism, sickness, we sold and moved a house at Christmas, I travelled a lot, etc. 

The difference is that I finally realized my life wasn't going to snap into a perfect zone so I needed to learn how to make my life fit into the circumstances. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of me.

To this day, in maintenance, the same things happen. I constantly don't get my way with how I want the days and weeks to play out. I make mistakes. I eat crazy on vacation, I skip workouts when I just can't get it done, etc. The difference is that I don't let what happens in life change my LIFESTYLE. 

When I need to miss a workout, it's OK. I just know that day I need to re-tool my week. I might not even get every workout in but I'm still going to be healthy and exericse. Unless you are training for a huge race...what does a missed workout or two mean over the course of the next 30 years? Nothing. 

On vacation I eat. On date night I have my wine (and plenty of it). I enjoy these times because after six years of doing it I'm maintaining my weightloss. It's not vacation and date night killing you; it's vending machines, lunches with the gang, and then just nibbling your way through cookies, cakes, crackers, chips and leftovers from the kids' plate that's stopping you.

So, as we proceed through week one of our PNP January Challenges - no perfectionism. When you have life happen I don't want bitching in the threads that your life is so unfair. I want you discussing what happened and feel free to be frustrated. Just don't let it stop there.

I'm looking for women who will show up in the thread, honestly saying why they had to miss workouts or didn't eat on plan BUT HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE (like we talked yesterday) about where they go from here.

Learn from your mistakes. They are there to teach; not punish.

Again, smile more, hug more, and plan the life you want to live.